Everyone of us has at least one regret in life. Over the years, I’ve come to realise that there are 5 common regrets that most people have. I have compiled this list after speaking with friends and clients all over the world. Here they are:
1. Time spent with wrong people.
Have you ever met people whom you thought will walk journeys with you, only to find out a year later that they were just using you? Or have you tried to impress people who aren’t significant but you just want their attention? When either one stops, you realise you’ve invested time on the wrong person.
Our time is precious, we want to invest time on people who will truly appreciate and stick by us. We want to be around people who make us smile, laugh, cry, and help us forget our troubles and worries. Wasting time on people who don’t value you, and make use of you is one thing we all want to avoid!
How can we avoid this regret? From today onwards, be intentional about spending time with those who love you and make you feel good. Make time for the ones who matter most. Nothing you can ever give will be more appreciated than your sincere, focused and full attention.
2. Measuring your self-worth to others’ opinions.
Your self-worth is definitely not determined by people’s opinions of you. We cannot please everyone. Likewise, we cannot secure every job interviews we go for. Your value is determined by you and you alone.
People will always place their opinions on others, regardless if its positive or negative. But what are their opinions to you? I’m not advocating arrogance where you ignore people’s feedback and opinions, but take it from someone who is important to you (See point #1), not from others who have no part in your life.
Human beings judge people based on experiences from their personal journeys that has nothing to do with us. A person may pre-judge you based entirely on your attire, based on a bad experience they had with someone who have similar fashion sense. Does that determine your value? No.
Therefore, measuring your self-worth based on what people think puts you under an unfair and biased perspective. You should never find your worth in another human being, find it in yourself. Deal with those that are negative about you by simply, ignoring them. When you ignore naysayers, what you’re telling them is “you’re not worth my time”.
3. Fear of the new.
Stepping into the unknown is always scary, I agree. On the same token, stepping into the unknown also brings new achievements and success. But what is the root cause of this fear? Uncertainty.
Uncertainty happens when you have to take steps into new ventures, new environment, new career. Fear happens when you are afraid of the challenges that lie ahead.
Remember this, amazing and incredible chapters of your life won’t exists until you step into a new season in life. Living life by itself is a risk every day, you may potentially meet an accident on the way to work, but you still survive the risk and live. Embrace uncertainties like you embrace life’s daily risks!
How to avoid regret of not stepping into the new? Find courage you need in your new venture, you can only either be comfortable with where you are or be courageous to take bold steps forward!
Think of “will I regret doing this” instead of “what if I fail” when you find yourself procrastinating to take the bold step forward.
4. Pains from failures.
What if you take the advice from #3 and you have a major failure? This failure can cause you heartaches, an empty bank account and ruined relationships. The scars from this failure will be constantly pressing and reminding you not to take such steps anymore.
This is one of the top 5 regrets that most people have – pains from failures. I had my personal experience of pain. I had burnt my hands through unwise investments, did badly in university, failed in the beginning of my entrepreneurship journey. Sometimes the pain still lingers, but isn’t it better to have a life full of wounds of failures which you can learn from, as compared to a life filled with regrets of not trying? Think about it!
Take a step back and think of your childhood and teenage years – you failed more times than you did today, yes? You might had failed your examinations, failed in winning that important stage in your favourite game, failed in making friends, failed in securing a scholarship, failed in financial savings, failed in a job.
From these failures, have you stopped doing any of the above? No!
As we grow older, our failures will be bigger and more painful, because we take bigger risks make bigger investment. Hence, when it fails, the pain is real. But look at it from the perspective of your younger self, are you going to stop just because of this failure? Learn from your failures and do it again with experience and wisdom!
Remember this, failures are learning opportunities and growth!
5. Thinking too much.
Has anyone ever told you, “you’re thinking too much?”. This thought process that you indulge in can lead you to either procrastinate, avoid, or abandon your plan.
What’s the real reason behind this long thought process though? We indulge in such thoughts because we think of the what-ifs, the right time, who is the right person. We are unsure and uncertain (point #3 again).
We waste our time waiting for the right moment, the right person, the right capital, but there really isn’t the “right” one. We must not forget that our life paths are made by walking, not waiting. Like relationships, you walk into it and make it the right one, not by waiting for the right one to drop beside you.
How can you avoid this regret of thinking too much? Plan and decide what you want to accomplish in life or career and get it done. Clarify your thoughts with someone you can trust. Your actions will conquer the worries you have, and action will bring you progress.
Even if your decision is wrong, learn from this experience that will help you make better decisions in the future.
How can you avoid these 5 regrets?
- If any of these 5 resonate with you, acknowledge it.
- After you acknowledge it, make peace with your past and focus on what’s ahead.
- Stop comparing yourself to other peoples’ success, your time will come. Don’t value yourself against people’s opinions. Take your success as your own.
- Find a trusted confidant to share your thoughts and worries with when you need make an important decision to avoid more regrets.
Sincerely,
Mario Singh
